Live your dreams
Sofie asks me, "Do you want to start working on your business?" I stare at her question. One part of me is so tired that it doesn't want to deal with anything else, while the other part longs to answer, as if life itself asked me the question: "Do you really want to start working on your business?"
I remember the years when I worked to improve my painting technique, to bring not only visual but also emotional depth to my paintings. Although I never wanted anything else than to devote most of my time to what fulfills me, I suddenly realize that I didn't give it the right "yes". Not just casually, but seriously. Maybe it doesn't mean that when I make changes, I will immediately get where I belong. But it means that I have to promise myself that it is high time to put all my effort into making my dream a reality. I want to overcome my fears and doubts and live what I really want, what fills my heart, not what my relatives, society, school, or anyone else who could lead me away from my path would want.
I tended to constantly defend myself and look for various excuses for why I haven't succeeded yet, why I haven't achieved what I want. But now I know that I had to mature. I needed life experience and confidence.
Once I tried to paint for several days in a row, but it wasn't easy. Layers of foreign programs in my mind constantly whispered to me that I wasn't good enough, that there are many other artists who are better than me. I heard those voices from the place where I grew up, where there was hatred and envy towards people who were a little smarter and more skillful, let alone those who owned a little more property. In this environment, people constantly tried to pull others down to their level, which did not allow them to believe in themselves. If someone managed to have their own opinions and dreams, they had to defend themselves with great effort and perseverance. Dreams remained only dreams, attempting to realize them was considered a mortal sin and could lead to expulsion from the "good" society. The only meaning of life seemed to be to fit into the daily routine of family life, to have children and go to work, which had almost nothing to do with your personality and where they were constantly humiliated.
But finally, I feel that I am doing the right thing in my life. I am acting according to my desires and values, and at the same time, I know that I am not hurting anyone, quite the opposite. Shouldn't this be the purpose of life? I answer yes to myself and want to work towards being able to live from my paintings one day and perhaps use the proceeds from them to restore nature.
I want to work with forests, water, and soil so that people in my community can see how nature lives and thrives on the gifts of the Earth, and because of that we can protect life. The Earth should not be merely a source of raw materials without humility and conscience, and without awareness of the consequences.
Therefore, I say, fulfill your dreams. Do what fulfills you and provides your soul with the necessary nourishment. Engaging in activities that bring you the greatest joy allows you to flourish, and people around you also feel happy because your happiness is reflected in everything you create. When your spirit prospers, your body prospers, and that gives you the energy to live life to the fullest. And when you live your life, you help your community so that you can help others find their own strength and values and heal themselves. This chain reaction is the most beautiful thing because it leads to the improvement of the entire planet. If you are happy and your life has meaning, you will never harm any living creature unnecessarily.